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My Son! My Angel! My Inspiration!

Feelings of a Mom - 2

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Feelings of a Mom - 2
About Me by Dustin
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How Great Is Our God
Sharing with Other Angel Moms
Rainbow and Angels
Angel Wings
Letters of Support

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You — and you alone — will have stars as no one else has them. 
In one of them I shall be laughing. 
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing
when you look at the sky at night. 
You — only you — will have stars that can laugh! 
And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows),
you will be content that you have known me.

 — Antoine De Saint-Exupery

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Mother is the one we count on for the things that matter most of all.

 

Mother is the bank where we deposit all our hurts and worries.

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Grief comes in one size, Extra Large.
If we tuck it away in the bottom drawer
where it never sees the light of day,
it remains exactly the same.
On the other hand,
if we wear it, feel it, talk about it,
and share it with others,
it is likely that it will become faded, shrunk and worn,
or will simply no longer fit.
When grief has served its purpose,
we are able to recognize the many gifts we have gained.

-- Dianne Arcangel

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A Poem for All Parents, In Memory of Shane

A GRIEVING PARENT

 

A grieving parent is someone who will;

never forget their child no matter how painful memories are.

A grieving parent is someone who;

yearns to be with their dead, but cannot conceive leaving their living ones.

A grieving parent is someone who;

has a part of a heart as the rest is buried with their child.

A grieving parent is someone who; begs for relief from the memories which plague them and then feel guilty when they get it.

A grieving parent is someone who;

pretends to be happy and enjoying life, when they really are dying inside.

A grieving parent is someone who, can cry or laugh at the drop of a hat whenever they remember their beloved child.

A grieving parent is someone who; feels as if they just lost their child yesterday no matter how much time has passed.

A grieving parent is someone who; fears for their remaining family because they cannot bear to have any more losses.

A grieving parent is someone who; sits by their child's gravestone and feels a knife stabbing their heart.

A grieving parent is someone who; ants to help others who have lost loved ones because somehow their loss is theirs all over again.

 

Judy Skapnak

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Date: 1/15/2008 10:37:24 AM
 
Hey
You know just when you think you are going to have a good day you go in a store and checking out and the girl behind the counter who you have known for years and seen working in different stores around town for years ask the unthinkable question. Now remember I live in a town of about 3000 where you can't go to the bathroom that someone doesnt' know about it. Well Sat. I was in a store and this woman ask me how Christopher was. I just froze in my tracks. A million thoughts went through my head all in a nano second and I was thinking "and i was having a good day" Now I've got to tell her that my son is gone and has been for 2 years. That just bowled me over but good. That hasn't happened in a long time and took me by surprise to say the least. All she knew was that my son was always attached to me at the hip and she just hasn't seen us together in such a long time and she knew how spoiled he was and got anything he wanted when we were in a store. At that moment I realized that I am so glad that I did spoil him so and that leaves no regrets for me. Heck he used to call me from his room on his cell phone to me in the living room to bring him something to drink and you know I would. But I wouldn't change that for anything in the world now. I always told my now X husband, who fussed because i spoiled him, that was what they were for. So Even though that question took me back 2 years  and brought tears to my eyes I am once again reminded of how proud I am of how I raised my son. spoiled or not.
Patsy



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Grief is neither an illness nor a pathological condition,
but rather a highly personal
and normal response
to life-changing events,
a natural process
that can lead to healing
and personal growth.
The transition through this difficult time
is the courageous journey.

-- Sandi Caplan and Gordon Lang,

Grieving allows us to heal,
to remember with love rather than pain.
It is a sorting process.
One by one you let go
of the things that are gone
and you mourn for them.
One by one you take hold
of the things that have become a part of who you are
and build again.

-- Rachel Naomi Remen

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Dear Group,
 
I have been working alot of hours and many mornings I come in it's dark.  I sit by a big glass window and often watch the sun as it rises.  I always remember back to one evening my 13 year old daughter, Marci, & I were visiting my parents (they had just purchased a waterfront condo).  Marci came running in and told us the sun was going down and wanted us to watch. Marci, Mom and I sat on the dock and watched the big orange ball go down
over the water.  It was a beautiful sight and a moment I will always
cherish.  A couple days later Marci and I were headed to do my part time job (she loved to help me).  We were driving over a bridge and the sun was beautiful shining on the water.  I told her one morning we would get up really early, pack our Diet Coke and donuts and take Pop-Pops boat out to sit and watch the sun come up together beings we had watched it go down.
She fell ill that next week and we never had the chance to do it.
Some days it hurts so bad to watch that sun come up but yet I can't help but find the beauty in it also.  It's the sign of a new day with new memories, new hopes and new dreams. This story helps to remind me that I need to be thankful for the memories I have and try not to yearn so badly for the moments I will miss by losing her so soon.  This morning as I watched the sun come up, I talked to Marci and I almost told her like usual that I wish she was here to watch with me, but then (for the first time) I realized she is here, as long as she's still in my heart.
 
So when the sun comes up and the warmth settles over you, remember to cherish each day and don't take your life or loved ones for granted.  God has given you another day to make beautiful memories.
 
In Loving Memory of Marci Bee Dayton   3/5/91 - 5/8/05
My Daughter, my Friend, my Hero.
 
Kelly

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Please See Me Through My Tears

You asked, "How are you doing?"
As I told you, tears came to my eyes . . .
And you looked away and quickly began to talk again.
All the attention you had given me drained away.

"How am I doing?" . . .
I do better when people listen,
though I may shed a tear or two.
These feelings are indescribable.
If you’ve never felt them you cannot fully understand.
Yet I need you.
When you look away,
when I’m ignored,
I am again alone with them.
Your attention means more than you can ever know.

Really, tears are not a bad sign, you know!
They’re nature’s way of helping me to heal . . .
They relieve some of the stress of sadness.

I know you fear that asking
how I’m doing brings me sadness . . .
but it doesn’t work that way.
The memory of my loved one’s absence is with me,
only a thought away.

My tears make my loss more visible to you,
but you did not cause this sadness.
It was already there.

When I cry, could it be that you feel helpless,
not knowing what to do?
You are not helpless,
and you don’t need to do a thing but be here for me.

When I feel your permission to allow my tears to flow,
you’ve helped me.
You need not speak. Your silence is all I need.
Be patient . . . do not fear.

Listening with your heart to "how am I doing"
validates what I’m going through,
for when the tears can freely come I feel lighter.

Talking to you releases
what I’ve been wanting to say aloud,
clearing space for a touch of joy in my life.
I’ll cry for a minute or two . . . then I’ll wipe my eyes,
and sometimes you’ll even find I’m laughing in a while.

When I hold back my tears, my throat grows tight,
my chest aches, my stomach knots . . .
because I’m trying to protect you from my tears.
Then we both hurt . . .
me, because my feelings are held inside,
causing pain and a shield against our closeness . . .
and you, because suddenly we’re emotionally distant.

So please, take my hand and see me through my tears . . .
then we can be close again

– Kelly Osmont,

The Lord has promised to prepare
A place in heaven above—
A home where we will always be
With Him and those we love.  —Sper

Because Christ lives, death is not tragedy but triumph.

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Dustin Marshall Rawls
September 2, 1982 - September 27, 2007
Dustin Lives on Through All The Many People that had the honor to know him!
I love you my Son!
God Blessed Me So giving you as MY SON!

Dustin loved and was loved  by so many, he touched so many lives while here on earth and gave the gift of life to many more  being a organ donor.  
Please sign the guestbook but also email me pictures and stories of your life with Dustin for us all to share.. Each and every one will be posted and appreciated.  Help me keep this site alive as Dustin is in all of our hearts.

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