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My Son! My Angel! My Inspiration!

Feelings of a Mom

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YES IT HAPPENS!!! FEEL THE PAIN OF OTHERS
Love From Mother!
Tiffany My Daughter! Love from Mom,
Letters from Mom
Feelings of a Mom
Feelings of a Mom - 2
About Me by Dustin
Dustin's Inspiration
How Great Is Our God
Sharing with Other Angel Moms
Rainbow and Angels
Angel Wings
Letters of Support

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The pain of loosing a child is the deepest pain a mom can have. The pain is greater for a mom than a dad, sister, brother or a friend.  No one, except another mom and God, even has a clue how it feels. I see family and friends all moving on and laughing and accepting the death.  But for a mother that carried this precious child for 9 months and gave birth to this child, stayed up nights with this child, the pain is deeper than anyone could have.  The deep inner relationship with this child and their mother is greater than any other could have with this person. Everyone says "I know how you feel" and "I miss him too" and "pray and think of all positive thoughts". You know those words do not mean a thing to a mother that has lost her child.  And those words just make you want you to shut that person out of your life because they do not understand at all what you're going through.  You get angry, the hurt grows stronger and you feel so alone.  I personally have turned to mothers that have lost a child and they DO KNOW what it feels like and they all have been where I am right now.  Many families drift apart during the grief of a mother because they do not understand why you're still in so much pain. Why you can't look at the positive, but how could they?  A child has ONE MOTHER so no one else can feel what they feel or understand the deep pain they have.  Like one mother said, sometimes just a hug with no words spoken is more comforting than one saying anything. Because if you have not been here and you're not this child's mother, you have no clue and the words many times cause more pain than support.  Also, why you want to shut all around you out. I pray to God and talk to my son and yes, they both hear me.  Dustin does answer me in a very strong way, lately a lot of visual messages and other times it is like he reads the letters I write him and replies. A couple of times he gave me the pep talk before I even knew I was going to need it. So, a mom gets more support from the child they have lost, God and other mothers that have lost a child than from anyone else.  I do get a few e-mails from people that have not lost a child but the words of comfort touch my heart in a major way and for those I am thankful. They are mostly from people I do not even know but who knew Dustin.
Below I have some poems that other moms have shared.  And reading and contacting other mothers is where I get the most comfort and I hope that adding this to my website will also help other mothers who need comforting.

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I Pray

Author Unkown

 

I pray you never walk through,

The agony I've known.

 

I pray that all your little ones,

Will stay until they've grown.

 

I pray that you never hear,

These brokenhearted cries.

 

I pray you never know the anguish,

When a child dies.

 

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Eternity

~ Author Unknown ~

 

I know you're feeling sad today

Because I had to go

I know you have so many things

That remind you of me so

 

And though you cry as you recall

The times you spent with me

I know your pain would turn to joy

If only you could see

 

I'm in Heaven with Jesus now

We laugh, we sing, we play

He holds me gently in His arms

I have no pain today

 

And though we're apart a little while

Jesus has said to me

He will someday bring you here

Where we'll live for eternity

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Untitled

Author Unknown

 

Mother, please don’t mourn for me;

I’m still here, though you don’t see.

I’m right by your side each night and day

And within your heart I long to stay.

 

My body is gone but I’m always near

I’m everything you feel, see or hear.

My spirit is free, but I’ll never depart

As long as you keep me alive in your heart.

 

I’ll never wander out of your sight.

I’m the brightest stat on a summer night.

I’ll never be beyond your reach.

I’m the warm, moist sand when you’re at the beach.

 

I’m the colorful leaves when fall comes around

And the pure, white snow that blankets the ground.

I’m the beautiful flowers of which you are so fond.

The clear, cool water in a quiet pond.

 

I’m the first bright blossom you’ll see in the spring;

The first warm raindrop that April will bring.

I’m the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,

And you’ll see that the face in the moon is mine.

 

When you start thinking there’s no one to love you,

You can talk to me through the Lord above you.

I’ll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,

And you’ll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.

 

I’m the hot, salty tears that flow when you weep

And the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.

I’m the smile you see on a baby’s face.

Just look for me, Mommy, I’m everyplace!

 

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The Cord

Author Unknown

 

We are connected,

My child and I,

By an invisible cord,

Not seen by the eye.

 

It's not like the cord

That connects us 'til birth

This cord can't be seen

By any on earth.

 

This cord does its work

Right from the start.

It binds us together

Attached to my heart.

 

I know that it's there

Though no one can see

The invisible cord

From my child to me.

 

The strength of this cord

Man could create

It withstands the test

Can hold any weight.

 

And though you are gone,

Though you're not here with me,

The cord is still there

But no one can see.

 

It pulls at my heart

I am bruised…. I am sore,

But this cord is my lifeline

As never before.

 

I am thankful that God

Connects us this way

A mother and child

Death can't take away!

 

 

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A PARENT'S PRAYER

Dear God,
You sent a child to me
To fill my life with joy,
And only You knew which was best --
A little girl or boy.
Somehow I took for granted, Lord,
That we would have a lifetime,
And I made so many future plans
For that precious child of mine.
Enchanted by that Miracle,
Caught up in each new day,
I guess I didn't hear You, Lord,
When You said, "This one can't stay."
I trust You, Lord. Thy will; not mine,
Yet I can't understand
This sudden loss -- the emptiness --
Caused by another's hand.
I know my child's an angel now
But my heart is aching so.
I'm sorry I wasn't ready, Lord,
To let my baby go.
There wasn't time for one last hug;
There was no final kiss.
Oh God, it's all those special smiles
That I already miss.
So Lord, could you do just one thing
For me especially?
Please hold my angel close to You
And say goodbye for me. Amen
-- by Bonnielee Walsh c. 1995

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The Promise

 

Cold winds blow across the frozen pond.

Snow lies deep upon the fields.

But the change has begun.

Daylight hours increase slowly.

With each passing day later sunsets are more

apparent

Winter is ending.

For bereaved parents

The change is awfully slow

The progress is not always apparent

But the promise is the same.

Winter will end.

Spring will return.

 

Betty Stevens,

TCF, Baltimore, MD

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I'm An Angel Now

Author Unknown

 

One night I cried to Jesus

As I sat beneath the tree;

I looked up into the open sky

And hoped He'd answer me.

 

"I'm lost dear lord...

I've traveled far but still I seem to roam;

Please light the way and lead me, Lord,

I need to get back home."

 

I told him of my burdens

And of the sadness in my heart;

That from his gracious love

I'd never felt so far apart.

 

"Why did you take my child, Lord?

I cannot understand!

No longer can I touch her face

Or hold her tiny hand."

 

"I'm angry, Lord... I'm missing her,

I'm drowning in my sorrow;

Please help to heal my yesterday

And face each new tomorrow."

 

It was then I heard her gentle voice

And felt her presence near;

How I wanted so to hold her

As I cried another tear.

 

She said "Mommy, I'm an angel now,

My spirit will be free;

I'm an angel now in heaven,

So please don't cry for me."

 

"I was chosen by our Lord above

And now I'm in His care;

Whenever you need me,

Just look inside your heart;

I promise to be there."

 

"No one can ever take away

Our bond with one another:

For I'll always be your precious child,

As you will always be my mother."

 

"So if you cannot find your way

Or the road to home seems far;

Just look up to the Heavens

And I'll be your guiding star."

 

She said "Mommy, I'm an angel now,

My spirit will be free;

I'm an angel now in Heaven...

There's no need to cry for me."

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LOVE NEVER GOES AWAY

By Darcie D. Sims

 

Why does it hurt so much? Why is this grief so incapacitating? If only the hurt weren’t so

crushing. Sounds familiar? All of us have known hurts before, but none of our previous ouchies

can compare with the hurt we feel. Nothing can touch the pain of burying a child.

 

Yet most of us have discovered that the sun still comes up. We still have to function. We did not

die when our child did, even though we wished we could have, so we are stuck with this pain,

this grief, and what do we do with it? Surely we can’t live like THIS forever!

 

There are no magic formulas for surviving grief. There are a few recognized patterns for grief, but

even those are only guidelines. What we do know is that the emptiness will never go away. It will

become tolerable and livable some day.

 

TIME the longest word in our grief. We used to measure TIME by the steps of our child the

first word, first tooth, first date, first car now we don’t have that measure any more. All we have

is TIME, and it only seems to make the hurt worse.

 

So what do we do? Give ourselves TIME to hurt, to grieve, to cry. TIME to choke, to scream.

TIME to be  crazy  and TIME to remember. Be nice to yourself! Don’t measure your progress

through grief against anyone else’s. Be your own timekeeper.

 

Don’t push. Eventually you will find the hours and days of grief have turned to minutes and then

momentsbut don’t expect them to go away. We will always hurt. You don’t get over grief it

only becomes tolerable and livable. Change your focus a bit. Instead of dwelling on how much

you lost, try thinking of how much you had. Try letting good memories come over you as easily

as the awful ones do. We didn’t lose our child HE [SHE] DIED. We don’t lose the love that

flowed between us it still flows, but differently now.

 

Does it help to know that if we didn’t love so very much, it would not hurt so badly? Grief is the

price we pay for love. And as much as it hurts, I’m very glad I loved. Don’t let death cast ugly

shadows, but rather warm memories of the loving times you shared. Even though death comes,

LOVE NEVER GOES AWAY!

 

The Lord has promised to prepare
A place in heaven above—
A home where we will always be
With Him and those we love.  —Sper

Because Christ lives, death is not tragedy but triumph.

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Dustin Marshall Rawls
September 2, 1982 - September 27, 2007
Dustin Lives on Through All The Many People that had the honor to know him!
I love you my Son!
God Blessed Me So giving you as MY SON!

Dustin loved and was loved  by so many, he touched so many lives while here on earth and gave the gift of life to many more  being a organ donor.  
Please sign the guestbook but also email me pictures and stories of your life with Dustin for us all to share.. Each and every one will be posted and appreciated.  Help me keep this site alive as Dustin is in all of our hearts.

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